of leaves and trees

This poem was written December 12th, 2007, and I decided I was going to share it with you today.

of leaves and trees

tense tired
exhausted entangled
expecting unmet expectations
this season is suppose to feel good
christmas is coming but
dead leaves still cling to trees
snow would make it better
but this is the south
look up at the winter sky
trying to find comfort and joy
leaves still fall one by one
solitary one comes to me
small misshapen yet it is still beautiful
golden and scarlet
like a kiss from God
i hold it to my face and breathe deep
i smell creation
i smell God
i feel creation
i feel God
a wave of remembrance comes upon me
God is here
has always been here
i just forget to wrap my arms around it
like i wrap my arms around a sweet gum
rough bark touching my soft face
this is where God lives
in the everyday of leaves and trees

Entree from a Journal on Top of a Mountain:

I am on top of a mountain with Sarah and Alyce. We drove to Boone together to escape life for a while. Driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway we found a little pull-over where there was a short trail. This trail took us through a ferny forest up to the top of a mountain where we each found our own solitary spot to sit and rest, on the exposed rock face.

I sit on a huge piece of rock and around me there are some shrubberies growing, both small and large. Out before me stretches mountains covered in forests filled with bird songs. It is cloudy and foggy. You can see rain clouds moving slowly across thy sky and every once in a while you hear thunder. A sweet cool breeze sometimes blows by. Looking deep down into the valley is dizzying. So refreshing, peaceful, and magical.

The rock I am sitting on is so old, worn, and huge. It is really the heart of the mountain, poking through the forest. Even though God made this mountain so powerful, strong, and almost unapproachable it has a good heart. The mountain is good because it creates a hiding place for me and a home for the wildlife. The mountain allows flowers to grow on it and other wonderful green things. On the rocky places of this mountain top there things called "rock baths." They are little indentations in the rock that have been carved out by the wind and rain that hold water. They are strange little things. It looks like someone poked holes in the rock with a stick or huge finger. If they were not up here the birds and plants would have no water, because it all rushes down to the valley. These little "rock baths" are perfect symbols of God's goodness and provision.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable that they?" Matthew 6:26

Vulnerable

Standing naked unashamed
Garden of Eden perfection
Vulnerability is marriage
Of life and death
Of spirit and flesh
Of divine and dirt
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust

We are groundlings
Infused with ruwach
The breath spirit
The image of God
We are the string that
Runs from earth to heaven
Remember
You are just dirt without the spirit

That is how to truly live
Embrace dirt, death
The weak, the ugly, the vile
Saying: I know I am nothing
I know I am death
I need more.
Pride has to die
For a new life to be lived

He stands at the door and knocks
He is patient
Will you be vulnerable?

Introduction

So this is my very first post. I want to introduce my self a little bit.


I just graduated from Winthrop University with a B. A. in English. In September I am going to India for three months with Adventures in Missions. God put a calling to go to India the summer of '05. I have been praying about the "when, where, and how" since then. Right now I live with my best friend, who is also named Sarah. We both drive beige Buicks, work at Starbucks, were home schooled, love nature, and have the same name but are very different from each other. I am an internal processor, and don't always know what I am feeling. Writing helps me to make sense of my self.


This blog is being started because I want to share some of my writing with whoever is interested. I named this blog "seeds of vulnerability" because seeds are the small beginnings of things. Seeds can be powerful. Jesus said "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matt 17:20). Vulnerability is something God has been teaching me about. I am learning that I have to let God in, and I have to let people see who I am. This is what I am planning on doing with this blog. I want to let people in. This is going to be a place where I can let my writings and thoughts air out.


Please comment. Enjoy