Following Jesus Like a Widow

So I was thinking the other day about the story in the gospels about the widow's offering. The same story can be found in both Mark 12 and Luke 21. This story is usually referenced when talking about finances or tithing, but I believe that this story is about way more than just money.

I pictured the scene going down, with Jesus just sitting with his disciples near the temple just hanging out and people watching. It is the day the Jews are bringing their monetary offerings to the temple, so there is a little more hub-bub than usual. As they sit the disciples watch the "many rich people (throwing) in large amounts" of money into the temple treasury (Mark 12:41), and as they do I imagine them thinking  "I wish I was rich enough to be able to do that...gosh, I couldn't even give that much when I was a fisherman...God can't really be please with what I am giving him...what am I doing with my life...who is this Jesus anyways?...maybe I should just stop with this whole disciple thing and go try and get rich somehow...then I could give the temple a bunch of money...maybe then I will be worth something?"

Amongst the nosiness of temple and the rich people making a spectacle of their giving (Matt 6:2), an old widow sneaks up and drops in two small coins, a drop in the bucket compared to what the others were giving. Mark 12:41 goes as far to say, she gave "a fraction of a penny". Jesus then draws his disciples close and says "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. The all gave out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on." (Mark 12:43-44).

The issue is not about how much money you give, in comparison to how much money you have. Might I go as far as to say this story is not even about money. It is about your life. Jesus is not after money or sacrifices, He is after your heart and soul, your very essence. In Proverbs 21:3 it says "To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice." What was admirable about the widow is not that she 100% of her income, but that she gave of her control of her life. She gave up her security and the only chance she had of getting food for the next day or week or month.

Throughout the entire bible there is a constant theme of God asking people to lay down everything for him. Look at Abram and God calling him to "Leave your country, your parents and your father's household and go to the land I will show you" (Genesis 12:1). Jesus told a young ambitious man who came to him for advice that "If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me." (Matt 19:21). God is looking for people who are will to lay down everything for him. God is not looking for more people to follow the rules, read the bible, attend church, and pray daily. He is looking for people who are willing to give up their comforts and empty themselves to be filled with God and His glory.

I hope this is both encouraging and challenging: encouraging because you do not have to be rich or talented or really have anything good to give God for him to be pleased with your offering. The challenge is that you have to be open give up everything for God. He may not be asking you to sell all your possessions and live in a straw hut in Paupa New Guinea, but He may be asking you to give up that $5 cup of coffee, or give up that car, or give up that television, or give up that new sweater, or give up that promotion, or give up that group of friends, or give up gossiping, or give up a number of other things that are so natural and comfortable in this culture.

Following Jesus is so sweet and simple, but it costs everything.

Discovering Kingdom

About a year ago I got home from spending three months in New Delhi, India. I deeply treasured the time I spent and the people I met there. When I think about the faces of the children, the food, the animals in the street, or the great hospitality we encountered... my heart aches. I long to hold those children again, sing songs with them like "o'lay lay tiki tanga, a masa masa masa," sit on the floor next to them eating rice with our fingers, and whisper prayers over them as we nap together in the hot afternoon. I long to sit with lepers and let them feed me chai and biscuits and make small talk in broken English and broken Hindi while the Hindi television programs blare in the background. I miss being welcomed into strangers' houses in the slums to pray and share the truth and life of Jesus. I know I will go back one day to these places... but for now I am waiting.

A few weeks ago I had a great realization. I miss India so deeply because I got to see the Kingdom of God come to life there. I got to show love to the "untouchable." I got to bring the light of the Holy Spirit in to very dark places. I got to see a little girl be healed from sickness. I got to build relationships with people I would have never encountered. I got to see light in darkness and color come from the dirt. The most meaningful part of my realization was the fact that the truth is I can find the Kingdom anywhere. God's Kingdom is not localized in New Delhi; it is a kingdom that stretches across the globe, across time, between dimensions, and reaches beyond our own galaxy. This Kingdom is enormous and far reaching but it is also intimate and immediate. Jesus told his disciples, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say 'Here it is' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:20b-21). He also made clear that we should, "be sure of this: The kingdom of God is near." (Luke 10:11).      

So if I am really longing to see the Kingdom of God, then I should be rejoicing because it is accessible anywhere. All I have to do is be intentional about seeking it out, living each day for the glory of God and the furtherance of His Kingdom.

Thankful for Anthony

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I thought I would tell a story I an thankful I am able to tell:

A few weeks ago I was in Asheville, NC to meet a friend for dinner and go to a show with her. I went up early to do some wandering and exploring. It was a cool rainy evening. I wandered for a while but shops started closing up for the evening and it was getting dark, so I found myself in a cozy coffee shop waiting for my friend to arrive. This little coffee shop is in the backside of a building in the basement. It is one of those coffee shops that attract the artsy and earthy, the bearded and bra-less of this world. One that serves organic fare-trade coffee in ceramic mugs and tofu wraps with avocado and sprouts. I walked in and instantly felt at home, I could be whoever I wanted to be with no pretenses. I ordered coffee (in a paper cup, because I though my friend might show up at anytime) and looked for a place to sit. Every table was occupied as the night was getting colder and this was such a cozy and free place to stay warm. I spotted a table in the back where an African-American man in his forties was sitting and reading. I approached and asked if I could share his table. He moved his bags around making more space for me and said that was no problem. I pulled out my journal and a book of Keats poetry that was in my purse. He asked me what I was reading and we exchanged a few sentences about journaling and then went quiet. I began writing about the day and journaling as I usually do, but as I wrote it dawned on me that the man I was sitting with was probably living on the streets. He looked world warn. The bags he had with him were grocery bags that were stuffed with what looked like a scarf and other random things. He was reading a small pocket sized book of some sort and hadn't bought anything to eat or drink. I started praying. I asked God to be with him, and to show this man His light, love, and breath. I asked God to work through me.

I continued to journal and read until I got a call from my friend. She was going to be later than she was planning and it was not going to work for us to get dinner together. She was going to give me another call when she got to the show and we were going to meet there. I then deliberated whether or not to get something to eat. I wasn't really that hungry and it was possible that my friend and I would get something to eat afterward but I ordered anyways. After ordering I went back to sit with this man, even though there were open tables and I was eating and he was not. I just felt like we had bonded in some way and I couldn't disregard that. I went back to reading and waiting. I started to wonder if this man had eaten or would eat. I wanted to bless him and thought maybe I could buy him food, but I didn't want him to think I saw him as a charity case. There were other potentially homeless people or at least people who were down-and-out in the coffee shop too. I didn't want to cause a scene.

The answer to my prayers came in another phone call from my freind. She had gotten there sooner than she thought she would and way trying to find the venue and parking. I had to leave to go meet her. My food hadn't come yet (praise God for slow service). I asked this man if he had eaten dinner yet. He looked up from his reading and looked surprised and slightly confused. He responded with a "yes ma'am" but I didn't believe him. I told him my situation, that I had ordered food but had to go and needed someone to eat it. I told him I would have the barista bring my food to him. I apologized that it was going to be a lot of veggies and I hoped he would like it. He thanked me at least three times and I told him (and really meant it) "God bless you." He then asked if he could show me something. I needed to leave but I said "sure." He pulled out of his coat pocket a little parallel Korean/English bible he had just gotten the day before at this Korean church he visited. Then he showed me that the little book he was reading was a Christian devotional book. This made my heart so full it almost burst. I smiled and asked what his name was. His name is Anthony. He asked mine as we shook hands. I was really sorry I had to leave. As I went back out on to the cold street and started walking to few blocks to where my friend was meeting me, I reveled in how God answered my prayer. 

I have learned over the years that God does not always answer us in a way we can touch or even see, that often we have to simply trust that He is really moving. The way everything worked out that night was such a testimony to the fact that God is near, that He hears our prayers and answers them in tangible ways. What I was most excited about was not that I got to feed a homeless man dinner, but that God showed up and used me because I asked Him too. I hope this encourages you to step out, not just to do things outside your comfort zone, but to step out and ask God to use you. I think He will answer you.

Through

This poem is dedicated to my Bible Study Girls (Sarah B, Lea, Michaela, Lauren M, Emily, Sarah H, Lauren G, Emiley, Carrie, Carla, and Blayney) and anyone else God has brought through.   

Oh God

You are my god
I will earnestly seek you
Through the darkness
That never ends
Through the fear
That berates my soul
Through the loneliness
That haunts me
Through the waiting
That causes me to ache

I will follow
Even though I walk
Through the valley of the shadow
You are with me
Comfort and guide me

I will follow
Even though you take me
Through the sun parched lands
Where there is no water
Be my living water

You take me
Through
These places
Never to stay
Always moving forward
Walking the road
Before, behind, beside

You take me
To places higher
Further up
Further in

You are my way
The way through

Ode to Womankind

Oh Woman
Thou art such mystery

Thou hast been granted
So much power, yet
Dangerous to clutch
Unwieldy to hold,
Meant to carefully
Bestow on others.
Crown of Creation
Laced with strength
Not to win wars
But hearts and minds,
Not to erect marvelous structures
But to enshrine and foster life
Within her own body,
To withstand the oppression of history
And pain of everyday living.
Beauty is not in thou might
But thy tender mercies.

Oh Adam
Though you might forget
You cannot live
Without your rib

When Words Come

When words come
It is release
Overflowing life
Signs of death
And of restoration
Beauty from ashes

When words come
They are from heaven
Given by the ultimate creator
Glimpses of angel wings
Sparks of divine fire
Kingdom coming

October 8th 2009

afternoon sun pours
through horizontal brown slats
and patterned green glass
giving me verdant textured light
next to slender rectangles
of the outside world
where workers steadily carry brick
walls climb higher,
women move along 
hips sway under loads
balanced perfectly on head
sprouts of vibrant color
in dust filled streets,
children sit in door way
passing time, watching
young man adeptly maneuver
bicycle through rubble,
street dog adjusts himself
in the pile of warm sand
near cube of neatly arranged brick,
jaunty push cart spills with colorful wears,
truck passes with a honk,
solitary peacock glides from roof to tree,
power lines swag from
pole to pole, house to house
smoke rises from incense and cooking
to feed body and soul
I can see all, but no one can see me
through horizontal brown slats
and patterned green glass

summer's end

There is so much beauty in a late summer afternoon
It is a time of so much change
When light
Becomes more than light
Enveloping the earth in newness
Caressing trees and glistening off streams
Like no other season

The light is gold
I want to strip
My clothes
My fetters
And dance in it
Letting the warmth cleanse and purify
Returning back to Eden
Back to perfection
Back to unity
Where love is pure
Where the music of the spirit is loud and clear

Healing Comes

after prayers and petitions
sleepless nights and floods of tears
after sweat and blood
the oil is poured out
moving slowly over a cold heart
penetrating and quickening
all of a sudden life surprises
there were glimmers before
but now
wholeness

Wedding Poem

The uniting of hearts
Surrounded by friends and family
Is a magical, beautiful thing

Affirming love
Affirming respect
Affirming unity
Affirming salvation

This is what God wants with
Each individual

A time will come when
Every knee will bow
And every tongue confess
Jesus is Lord and lover

Then there will be a wedding celebration
As big as the universe
With streets decked out in gold
And the gates of the city pearly white
With a feast more incredible
Than you can imagine
With music and dancing
So magical and powerful
That is breaks bonds and sets captives free
With guests that have just met
Yet know each other in the deepest way
The nations gathered, but language is no barrier

Love
Respect
Unity
Salvation
Till death do us part

Wait...what is death again?

Western Moon

The moon is so huge
The sky is the color of the
Blue between dusk and dark
Wisps of cloud are lit up grey
By the light of the moon
Shining so big
Pearly white on all of us.
We don't see it
Wandering aimlessly
From lamp to lamp
Seeking the artificial light
We have learned to live by
Firelight replaced by florescent
Fake and sickly
Compared to the forgotten moon


This is the western world
We have created truth to live by
"do what feels good"
"survival of the fittest"
"all truth is relative"
False lights that guide our way
To hopelessness, emptiness,
Constant dissatisfaction,
To a world where our lives are propped up by an economy that will always waver
A world where trees have to be saved and water comes in plastic bottles
A world where your appearance counts more than your substance
A world where we spend $5 on coffee forgetting $5 could feed an entire village
A world where the poor and distressed are given band-aids and not a healer


We wander aimlessly from fad to fad, color to color
"black is beautiful" "go green"
What we need is true light
All of the colors together united
All of the peoples together unified
All truth together united
We need light
We need the author of light

walk in the woods

summer evening
perfect for strolling
sun just down
light still clinging to the sky
the bewitching hour has come

crushing sweet warm grass
beneath my feet
crossing the clearing
approaching the wood
lights flicker and flash
gold against green
they must be gathering
preparing
the faerie king is to wed

see them moving with their
lanterns guiding each other
to the festivities
what a perfect night
for a wedding
not a cloud in the sky
a cool breeze from the east
bringing scents of a
forbidden garden's spice

deeper in
following the lights
they will not show themselves
but they lead me
further and further
deeper and darker
until-- there it is 
in a glade perfectly round
a tiny wedding pavilion
crafted from sticks and leaves
vines, flowers, and spider silk
lights flicker
up and down
beside, below
more than can be counted
it is about to begin
will the king appear?
the cicadas in the trees roar
the crickets scritch and scratch
a stream trickles
melody rises and falls
with anticipation 
crescendoing finally and
 
I blink my eyes
and it is all gone

accept for a solitary firefly
and the summer breeze

the tention of potential

two dandelions stand close,
amidst a wavy sea of green.
two spheres of potential
waiting for the right moment

for a warm breeze
to blow hard enough
to send seeds mingling
with each other midair
dancing high above
the greenness below
slowly falling
to the earth to die
but as all seeds do
to spring forth
life anew

will it come 

pariwar

discovered a new family
where biology is nothing
what binds is the blood of Christ,
as I look into their faces
reflected back is the image,
the same image of God I see
when I look in the mirror:

lepers and prostitutes,
tiny weather-worn women,
naughty dirty beautiful
children running in the street,
a man who sits on the floor
in his humble brick dwelling
speaking of the peace of God
as the thing he treasures most,
orphan girls who whisper songs,
strong young women who gently 
teach me how to hand wash clothes
then serve me chai and biscuits,
the rickshaw driver who speeds
through the dusk safely toward home,
cow herds dressed in their finest,
the old corner-store owner
who is caught dancing with his
grandson in the dusty street


(the Hindi for "family" is "pariwar") 

constancy

the sun is always setting and rising
sweet light makes for glorious afternoon
while the same sun awakens a dear friend
miles away...

the sun is like God
sometimes you can see
its glow, feel its heat
sometimes wind, clouds, rain,
storms get in between

that doesn't change the sun, billions of miles
away it burns, faithfully emitting
heat light life, constantly working somewhere
always the same...

(adapted from journal entree on 10-6-09)