Tonight I need to create...but I am not sure what or where or with what purpose. Life can move so fast and then all of a sudden just seem to stop and leave you wondering...what is really going on and do I make a difference? I feel a little dead and a little alone. Don't be worried, it is really nothing a little sunshine, fresh air, and earth can't fix. I guess maybe I am getting stir crazy or winter-worn. I love the feeling on sunshine on my bare skin. Until this winter I never realized how much of a California girl I really am. Also I think I am weary of waiting. It feels like, even when things start happening that God keeps me in a place of waiting. Sometimes it feel like I am stuck, or I haven't figured out what is going on and so I am left out of the fun. I know that this is not true, but it is really hard to tell your feeling that they are full of crap. Feeling seems so much bigger than reality sometimes.
It is so easy to dream and say "well one day when I have...it won't be like this anymore." But I know that a new friend, a husband, a new job, a new country, a new sweater, a new pair of socks, a new car, a baby, a house, a kitten, a new album, a new hobby, a new adventure will not make all the feelings of dissatisfaction completely go away.
Only Christ can wholly satisfy the human heart.
Why is he the last place I turn?
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